Seeing God With Matthew Perry
Friends, Strangers, and the Big Nice Thing
“There are nice people,” Matthew Perry said to the audience, “I just met a group of them out back before the show.”
Last week, the Friends star was in Toronto promoting his best-selling memoir Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, and I was in the audience for the sold-out in-conversation event. The moderator had just asked Perry if he ever got tired of fans calling out his name or wanting something from him.
Perry’s statement thrilled me because I knew he was talking about me! As a crazy celeb enthusiast, I often joke about celebrities thinking about me or talking about me (it’s all ridiculous fun, I promise!). But this time, I knew for sure he was talking about a small group of my friends and me. We met Perry behind the theatre before the show and had a friendly exchange.
But this story is not about me or my ‘niceness’; it is about how Matthew Perry’s recent book promotion motivated me to deliver a note and the act of kindness that showed me a glimpse of God1.
Like most Friends fans, I was worried about Perry’s well-being when he appeared on the 2021 Friends: Reunion Show. He was extremely publicly emotional, voiced self-deprecating thoughts about his comedic talent, and slurred his words. Of course, it was no secret that Perry had once struggled with addiction, but what else was going on?
Perry answered these questions and more during his October 28, 2022, sit-down interview with ABC’s Diane Sawyer. First, he disclosed that he had emergency dental surgery right before the reunion show and was in great pain. But, more startingly, Perry revealed the depths of his decades-long addiction to alcohol and pills that caused his colon to explode, put him in a coma, and nearly killed him.
For me, the most poignant interview moment was when Perry described a dark time during his addiction when he suddenly saw a golden light that he interpreted as God. That mystical presence told him that he was loved and accepted and that everything would be okay, leading him to sobriety.
Yes, I am a Friends fan known for celebrity obsessions of all kinds, but I am also a therapist (really!) who has recently experienced loss.2 At my lowest point, I also encountered something beyond the human experience that assured me I was loved and that everything would be okay. So let’s just say that listening to Perry dishing behind-the-scenes scoop and talking seriously about wellness, purpose, and spirituality hit me like a gospel message. Perry took me to church, and I didn’t want his sermon to end.
I was late finding out that Perry was coming to Toronto for the in-conversation event. I knew I had to be there, but the event was sold out! So I decided that if I couldn’t attend the event, I would use Perry’s Toronto visit as an opportunity to personally tell him that I admired his strength and vulnerability and encourage him to keep delivering his message.
Fortunately, I know how to meet celebrities!
On the day of the event, I left my home with hope, a prayer, and a note for Perry. I listened to my higher self and avoided including my Instagram handle, phone number, or email address on the card. I wanted the message to be from my soul to his, with no ego in the way. What the hell did I think Perry would do with my contact info anyway?!?
I found the venue door where Perry would arrive and waited for him with some friends and fans. Upon his arrival, Perry did take the time to greet us before he entered the building. He announced that he wouldn’t be doing any selfies but graciously signed what people had for him. When he got to me, I handed him the note. He automatically went to sign it, but I said, “No, I wrote this for you.” Perry stopped, looked into my eyes with disbelief and gratitude, accepted the note, thanked me, and put it in his pocket.
My soul was full.
Before going home for the evening, a friend and I went to the front of the venue to watch fans enter. A guy asked me if I had an extra ticket, and I told him that I didn’t, but I would also like to see the show.
Just then, a friend of ours exited the venue. We hadn’t seen her during the day and didn’t know she had tickets to the show. She was there to pick up her copy of Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing that came with each ticket purchase. She explained that she had something else to do that night, so she couldn’t attend the event.
The random guy looking for a ticket overheard our conversation and immediately waved $100 cash in our friend’s face, begging her for a ticket. Our friend looked at the money, looked at us, and said to the stranger, “These two are my friends.”
Before I knew what was happening, I was seated in the venue listening to Matthew Perry share his message with the audience, including the one about nice people still existing in this world. For the second time in two weeks, Perry took me to church.
Later that night, I contacted my generous friend, asking how to send her money for the ticket. She messaged back, saying, “Don’t worry about it. You are my friend. Enjoy, and see you around.” I stared at my phone in disbelief and gratitude. I decided to accept her act of kindness.
Over the weekend, I read Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, and it moved me. It is filled with witticisms that initially brought the character Chandler Bing to life, along with insights into Perry’s emotional trauma and addiction and universal themes like despair, redemption, and purpose.
I actually cried when, near the end of the book, Perry wrote:
“When someone does something nice for someone else, I see God.”
OH.MY.GOD.
I hope Matthew Perry saw a little bit of God when I offered him the note. I know I caught a glimpse of the divine in my friend’s actions when she waved $100 away and gave me the ticket for free.
Life lessons come in mysterious forms; I never expected one of mine to link to the guy who played Chandler Bing! So, if you have a loving message to deliver, find a way to make it happen. Engage in random acts of kindness with strangers and friends. If you do, you might just get a good look at God.
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My definition of God is broad: a loving essence and a spiritual presence bigger and brighter than the human experience.
Some of you know that my former partner died in an accident in April 2022, leading to a long pause in my writing. You can read more about how this impacted me in my last post - Lady Whistledown And The Pause.
This was a really beautiful article, thank you for sharing! I just love Matthew Perry and can't wait to read his book :)
Welcome back!